


When you need a little love, I got a little love to share (I'll be there)

by hopeinyourheart



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, as usual this is me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 14:29:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14813144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeinyourheart/pseuds/hopeinyourheart
Summary: a few days after the champions league final,





	When you need a little love, I got a little love to share (I'll be there)

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by jess glyne's ill be there lyrics. the words just made me think about how someone will have your back during a hard time and this is a hard time and we aren't all alone no matter how much we think we might be

Emre finds Loris in some back-alley bar that has surely seen better days. The place is hidden in the shadows, no streets lamps or any indication of life to prove that the place even existed. It was surrounded by rubbish bins and broken glass. Emre takes very cautious steps towards the front door which seems to be stuck when he tries to pull it open. 

Frustrated he pulls harder this time nearly falling backwards when it swings open. The bar is mostly empty, just a few stragglers with old scruff who had drank way too much sat the metal tables on the uncomfortable looking chairs. There was shattered glass everywhere and the tv mounted on the wall was fuzzy and looked just about ready to fall off.

He looks past the rubbish and the people at the back of the bar giving him weird looks in search of Loris. He's sat at the bar, head leaning against the wood. Emre walks over and sits next to him; it had been three days since the mess of that final and Loris was still hurting. Emre tries everything to cheer him up but he was broken and Emre was out of options on what to do. 

"Loris," he calls quietly, this place creeped him out and he just wanted to get Loris and get out of there. There was several bottles and glasses scattered around him atop the bar. Emre sighs. "Loris come on," he shakes him gently. The bartender is leaning against the back wall looking at them weirdly. Emre narrows his eyes at him, desperate to leave before someone thought it wise to start with them. Emre really didn’t need to get into a pub fight straight after a champions league loss on some abandoned street in Germany. If that reached the papers they were both done for.

"Loris lets get out of here," he says, lifting his head up from the bar slowly. Loris looked...a mess. His eyes were red rimmed and sunken in, his lips looked pale and he looked sick. 

Loris grins at him drunkenly. "Emre," he slurs, reaching forward and gripping onto Emre's shirt. He nearly falls off the chair at the amount he's swaying so Emre has to grab him around the waist to keep him upright. "Emre, hi," he drawls, looking at Emre with a look in eyes that shouldn’t be used in public. Emre turns and looks at the bartender again who's clenched his jaw and his fists and Emre really thinks they should leave right now. 

"Come on," he says dragging Loris off the chair and towards the door. 

"I don’t wanna leave," he protests, slurring all his words, "Emre I don’t wanna leave." He's fighting against Emre's grip, but Emre has the leverage to get him out the door and towards the car before he started a scene in a bar where they most likely going to end up on the news. That’s a newspaper story he never wants to read. 

Emre manages to get Loris into the car and onto the way home. The drive is silent. Loris leans against the window, eyes closed. Emre focuses on getting them home. 

*

The apartment doesn’t feel homely, it was mostly unused. The two of them had brought it a few months into their relationship on the outskirts when they needed time away. This was only the second time they had been here; the first being on a two-day break where they spent most of their time in bed. 

Emre gets Loris through the door, closing it behind him before Loris is biting at his lips and pulling at his clothes. Emre kisses him back before pulling away. Loris scrapes his teeth down Emre's neck, pushing him back against the door. "Loris, Loris," Emre pants trying to pull him away. "Loris stop you're drunk."

"Am not," he slurs into the skin of Emre's neck.

Emre pushes him back and towards the couch, sitting Loris down before he heads to the kitchen to get him a glass of water. "Drink this." Emre hands him the glass which Loris holds between his hands, staring into it like it held all the worlds answers at the bottom. It was dark out, just one street light flicking on and off in the distance. Emre gets up and switches the lamp on, closes the curtains. He looks at Loris who's just a broken shell of the man he once was and Emre doesn’t know how to fix him. 

He moves the living room table to the side before heading upstairs quickly to grab their duvet and a couple of pillows and blankets. He spreads them out on the floor, turning on the fire to a low heat, letting the light illuminate the room and the warmth fill the emptiness. Maybe it wasn’t home but Emre could try to make it feel like it was.  

"Drink it Loris," he pleads sitting down next to him. Loris sighs bringing the glass to his lips and taking a sip. It takes him ten minutes to down the whole thing. Emre knows he's going to be a mess in the morning but it was enough for now. Loris puts the glass down on the ground, pointing at the make-shift bed on the floor, "wha...?"

Emre shrugs, before taking his jacket and t-shirt off and then laying back against the pillows in the middle of the room. Loris watches him, not moving for a while until his phone pings. He pulls it out, his face dropping before Emre reaches up and snatches it out of his hand; turning it off and tossing it beneath the armchair. Loris was torturing himself by looking at the news outlets, and tabloids and reading the comments on social media. Emre had tried to stop him but he was stubborn and it was harming him. 

He ignores the narrowed eyes from Loris, "get down here," he says. Loris sighs, stripping himself off his thin t-shirt and settling down on the pillows and blankets next to Emre.  

"They're saying I have to leave," he murmurms towards the ceiling. 

"You know all of that stuff is made up Loris, I told you not to read that." Emre says leaning on his side to look at him. 

"Why did you do this?" He asks still looking at the ceiling. They had been here three days. On the first one they lied in bed all day, numb, just forgetting the world. On the second day, they half watched movies and made out on the couch before Emre went out and got them some food. On the third day Loris disappeared to a bar and drank half of his savings away and that's when Emre realised Loris still wasn't ok or if he was ever going to be. He also didn't know if he could fix it.  Hiding them away from the world might have protected them from the onslaught of harsh media but Loris' mind was still a mess and Emre doesn’t know what to do anymore.

"Dunno," Emre shrugs. "Don’t disappear on me again," he says instead, turning onto his back and staring at the ceiling too. It had taken him four hours to find the other man and he was going crazy. Loris wasn’t picking up and Emre feared he was missing or knocked out in the back of an alley or lying dead somewhere in a ditch. 

Loris moves closer to rest his head on Emre's chest." I won't," he says in way of apology. Emre puts a hand on his back. 

"Good," Emre breathes. "If you die, I'll kill you." Loris laughs lowly at that, a slow exhale of breath; it wasn't his usual full-bodied laugh but it was progress and it'd do for now. 

"Are you going to die to haunt me for dying?" Loris asks puzzled and slightly amused. 

"You know I will." Loris doesn’t doubt Emre would actually do that. 

"I won't disappear or die," Loris tells him, with a hand on his chest. 

"Why did you go out and drink?" Emre asks after a while of them just lying there, feeling Loris let out a slow breath. "I thought you were doing better. I'm here for you Lo, stop pushing my away ok, getting drunk won't make it better."

Loris moves from his chest and straddles his hips instead. The smell of alcohol burns Emre's nose but the push of Loris' hips against his own makes him dizzy. Emre's hands instinctively move to his hips, digging his fingertips in to leave their mark while Loris leans his forehead against Emre's own. "Just wanted to forget," he breathes against Emre's lips before pulling his bottom lip between his own, scraping his teeth along the inside before letting go. 

"We came here to forget," Emre tells him as Loris swipes his thumb over his bottom lip. 

"Whatever," Loris dismisses, leaning in to kiss Emre again. 

Emre turns his head, moving his hands from Loris' hips to grabs his wrists before sitting up with Loris in his lap. Loris tries to kiss him again but Emre won't let him, making him whine in frustration and need. "You have to feel better Loris," Emre continues.

"I don’t want to talk about this, can't you just kiss me, or fuck me," he begs trying to free his hands from Emre's grip so he could paw at Emre's chest or get the waistband of his pants down. 

"You can't think about this for the rest of your life Loris, you can't let it define you. You're more than a fucking football game, let go of it."

"Can you just shut up," Loris says kissing over his neck and grinding his hips down into Emre's, desperately.

"No, not until you're ok, and you're not ok Lory. Stop,” he says when Loris circles his hips against his again, his hands still in Emre's grip. "we're talking about this whether you want to or not."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Is that why you're drunk?" he asks, letting go of his hands so he could grab his hips and lift him away from Emre's own so he could think. Having Loris that close would make him give in but Emre really needed him to talk right now. 

"What? You don’t love me anymore, is that it. You want to leave. Leave then Emre the door's right there. you don’t have to stay out of pity!” His voice rises and by the time he finishes Loris is panting from screaming and hitting his hands against Emre's chest.

“I never said I wanted to leave and I don’t pity you.” Emre tells him with a steady voice trying to keep calm.

"Well you won't touch me," Loris shoots back, with the palms of his hands spread on Emre's chest. His words were absurd because they'd spent most of their time touching each other. "What do you want from me?" He wasn’t screaming anymore.

"I want you to be ok, I wan-“ Emre starts tightening his grip on Loris' hips.

“I'm fine,” he interrupts frustrated, digging his hands into Emre's hair and trying to kiss him again. 

"You’re not fine Loris, and you won't talk to me, that’s all I want from you, I just want you to talk to me ok." He pleads letting Loris kiss him. Emre kisses him back, scraping his tongue along the inside of Loris' mouth making Loris moan and tighten his grip in his hair. Loris grinds their hips together again panting hotly into Emre's mouth who kisses him deeper every time Loris moans.

Emre pulls back, panting from the kiss leaning their foreheads together. "I just wanna know that I'm not going to find you passed out drunk everyday in a side alley somewhere because you won't let me help you. You're still hurting Lo and I'm here but you’ve got to let me in ok,” he says right against Loris' lips. "It hurts,” Emre breathes, “when you push me away, it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong or I’m not good enough for you, and I don’t know how to help you, but I need you Loris. Alive and ok. Whether you love me or not."

Loris slumps against him after that, all the fight in his body has disappeared, his shoulders slacking and his head falling to lean against Emre's collarbone.  Emre stokes a palm down his back, feeling tears hit his skin when he does so. "I do love you," Loris hiccups into his skin. “I just-I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t know who I am or what I want. I feel like my whole life has changed.”

Emre leans back against the blankets with Loris still in his arms, "You don’t have to know right now," Emre says into the warm air, "that’s not who you are Loris, this isn't who you are. I know you Lo, you work harder than everyone, you don’t take anything for granted, you appreciate everything you have and no matter what anyone says you don't care because you're bigger than their words. This is your life baby, your story and isn't defined by any single action,” Emre tells him. “You don’t have to know anything, you just have to try to be ok and forget the rest because I'm so worried about you and I'll be damned if I let this kill you.” He lets it all out into the open, the worry and concern and weight of Loris’ shared pain.

Loris settles down after that, the tension in his bones seems to sink away and the muscles in his back loosen up. "I love you Em,” Emre hooks his thumb under Loris' fingers resting against his chest, placing his other hand on Loris" lower back. "I'll get better I just- I won't drink again, you've got me Em, I'm not going anywhere,”  he says. Emre smiles against his hairline, ready to wait out the pain and frustration he was feeling. He would wait forever if he had too just as long Loris didn’t give up. 

 “I love you too. I'm here for you Lory, you're not alone, not in this, not ever” he breathes glad that the lines of Loris' body were no longer tense. Finally being able to feel him relaxed and pliant and not worrying lifted a huge weight of his chest. Emre could tell he had finally stopped thinking and he lets out a relieved breath because it meant he would finally be able to forgive and forget and move on and be ok. It was all Emre needed and wanted. He feels Loris fall asleep against his chest and for the first time in three nights he was able to fall asleep without worrying that Loris would wake up in a cold sweat, crying and broken.

He places a kiss against Loris' forehead, squeezing him closer before he drifts of to sleep too, safe in the knowledge that he would be ok. 

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah its been a few days and i wanted to write something about them not being totally ok but getting better, because as much as it hurts we all get better and move on and be ok so i had too. thanks for reading xx  
> (side note; i might write the apartment hunting in my palace series :), unrelated but it could be cute)


End file.
